I've always farted, and so have you. We all fart.
But now, it's like if I even think about farting, bbbbwwwaaaappp!
And the walking farts. Seriously? I've blown over parking meters, which is fine because I don't like them anyway, but still.
I can feel a fart coming on as I'm nearing a door to the outside, and I can almost make it. Almost. But nope, just as the door is swinging shut, just as I'm about to escape without being heard, out it comes — blloommfft — leaving a 37-foot stank trail and people inside wondering whether I might need new pants.
It's just abominable.
Then again, I'm "old." I fart. So what?
Now, that's what aging's all about, baby!